If I could rewrite the law school curriculum, I would include a class on maintaining a healthy attorney-client relationship, which would focus on active listening and how to interview clients. Clients look to us for guidance, for advice, and of course, to fix their legal troubles. Just like first dates, the initial consultation or the first meeting holds a great deal of importance. The client is trying to determine if you’re competent but more importantly, the client is deciding if you are the right attorney for him or her.
I’ve done over 500 initial consultations over the past ten years. Here is what I’ve learned so far:
1. Emotional Insensitivity
I am stating the obvious, but clients rarely come to visit an attorney with happy news. They come to us because they are facing some trouble they cannot handle on their own. Often, they come to us because something has gone terribly wrong in their life.
Clients come to meet with me because they’re facing overwhelming debt and with that comes a lot of baggage including guilt, shame, embarrassment, and a deep sense of failure. If I can’t empathize with their troubles and create a safe space for them to share their story, I can’t gain their trust, which is critical for having a healthy attorney-client relationship.
At the initial client meeting, we want to create emotional attunement — the ability to sense what the client is feeling and respond appropriately. I’ve had so many clients thank me at the end of the consultation for simply listening to them, making them feel heard, and cared for.
2. Interrogating Clients
In law school we are trained to think like a lawyer, meaning we’ve wired our brain to extract the relevant facts and run an analysis using the applicable law. It’s easy to go into cross-examination mode, where we start to ask a series of specific questions in order to build the case in our mind and test for weaknesses. You can get there eventually, but this deprives the client of their chance to tell you the story as they need to.
How you start the consultation — the questions you ask — matters. I always start with a very open-ended question: “What brings you into my office today?” Then I stop talking and engage in active listening until the client stops talking. I’ll then pause, giving both of us an opportunity to allow what was said to settle and ask, “Is there anything else you’d like to share?”
This is very different than starting the conversation by saying, “I see on your intake sheet you’ve valued your home at $1.1 million. How did you come up with that value?” The client interrogation method is akin to factory farming, speeding through the process with indifference.
3. Interruption and Distractions
When the client is telling their story, resist the urge to interrupt to ask questions or offer your legal analysis. Practice active listening and make space for the client to tell their story. Of course, there are the clients that will filibuster and speak for 30 minutes straight, and it’s appropriate to establish ground rules in the attorney-client relationship. But at least be willing to give the client an opportunity to say their piece.
Another common mistake is distractions that interrupt the meeting. This includes incoming calls, checking emails, or anything else that may pull your attention away from the client. Be particularly mindful of distractions if you do phone intakes.
4. Not Knowing How To Handle Questions You Don’t Know The Answers To
Clients will ask questions that you do not know the answers to — yet. Often, a client will ask what is actually a very complicated question but they think is simple. For example, “Will I lose my house if I file for bankruptcy?” This involves a long list and analysis of “it depends.” There are also many questions without any clear answers. We can explain to the client the nuances and complexities involved in answering their question, even if we don’t know “the answer.”
There are also the stumpers. I love these questions because it’s an opportunity for me to learn and expand my knowledge base. If you do not know the answer to a question, it’s perfectly fine to say, “I don’t know the answer but I can research the issue.” You are not expected to come up with all the answers at the initial consultation, as clients will raise issues that are sometimes novel to the most experienced practitioner. The initial consultation is more of a “let’s get to know each other better” meeting and see if we’re a good fit. This is not a meeting for complete problem-solving. That comes after she signs a fee agreement and pays a retainer.
5. Not Trusting Your Gut/Rejecting Bad Clients
One of the hardest things for me is to say to a client, “I don’t think I am the right attorney for you.” This is especially hard when the client wants to retain you. If the initial consultation is like the first date, having the client retain you is akin to getting married. If you don’t like the client at the initial consultation, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll grow to like the client.
Remember, the initial consultation is an opportunity for both of you to decide if this is the right fit. You should be just as actively involved in deciding whether you believe you can work well with the client as the client is deciding whether to retain you.
This article previously appeared on Above the Law.