Are there things I can do to help “turn off” my brain at night?
Dear Reader,
As a fellow attorney who also struggles to “turn off” my brain at night, I can relate to this struggle!
The most important thing I have come to know about turning off my brain at night is that this is a skill that can be learned, and more importantly, practiced. Learning how to regulate your own emotional landscape, how to disengage from work, how to train your mind so that it’s not working around the clock is a skill set, just like learning how to draft a complaint or take a deposition. Remember that being well rested is essential for having your mind fully present for work.
A helpful way to explore the difficulties with turning off your mind at night is to become curious about the experience. I know, it may sound undesirable or even counterproductive to do this but you can’t change a pattern that you do not understand. An acronym that is useful for becoming curious is RAIN. It stands for recognize, acknowledge, investigate, and nurture with compassion.
First, start to recognize throughout the day when your body and mind feels stable, rested, and well-nourished. Also, pay attention to when your mind and body are in a state of dysregulation, agitation, anxiety, or stress. In other words, be mindful of how you are feeling throughout the day. Incorporating a daily meditation practice is a wonderful way to intentionally carve out time every day to pay attention to your state of mind and your well-being. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time, just a few minutes per day is a great place to start.
The next step is to accept the patterns you are observing. For example, are you checking work email while you are laying in bed, trying to fall asleep? Is your mind replaying some irritating conversation you had with your opposing counsel? Are you doom scrolling through the news? Are there specific stressors or trauma responses you need to address? Are you not getting sufficient exercise during the day? Are you feeling enraged by the injustice your clients are experiencing? Are you experiencing vicarious trauma from working with your clients?
When we notice habits or patterns in our lives that we are unhappy with, it’s easy to judge ourselves or to engage in negative self-talk. Whatever is causing your mind to incessantly spin out of control at night, practice meeting the experience with kind, compassionate acceptance. This step is also known as radical acceptance. This does not mean you won’t take steps to change it, but that can only happen after you recognize and accept what is happening now.
After recognizing comes investigation. This is where you approach the inability to wind down at night with curiosity. Imagine that you are a scientist of your own mind. Try different strategies for calming your mind and gather data. A good place to start is to Google “sleep hygiene” and make sure you are creating an optimal environment for rest in the evening.
Rather than approaching this inquiry in terms of success or failure, focus on gathering data. When you eat certain foods, does that calm or agitate your nervous system? When you do some light yoga before bedtime, does that help? How about taking a bath? How about meeting with a therapist, is that helpful? Learning how to set better boundaries? Resting the mind is a multifaceted process. Be patient with yourself through this process.
Fortunately, the skills you have gained as a lawyer — research, fact gathering, analysis — these are all very useful for figuring out how to best support your body to rest. One more thing, we may often underestimate the importance of having a well-rested body and think of it as luxury, but given all the research around the harmful effects from lack of sleep, I would argue being well-rested is necessary for being a good lawyer. Notice any held beliefs about rest as a possible hindrance — for example, thoughts such as, you can rest when you’re dead, are common beliefs that are quite toxic and counter to rest.
The last step is to nurture whatever conditions seem to be productive in helping you to settle your nervous system with care. This might be keeping a journal on your nightstand so that if you wake up in the middle of night with your mind racing, you can write down whatever it is that’s worrying you so you can hopefully go back to sleep. It could be connecting with your friends or colleagues to talk about the challenges you are experiencing as a lawyer. Remember, there’s no one size fits all solution for calming the anxious mind. Especially if you have been struggling with this issue for a while, it will likely take some patience and investigation before you can figure out what is going on. Be patient with yourself.