This is Part II of this post. If you’ve missed Part I, you can read it here.
6. Vent your anger (in a constructive way)
When you’re really angry, sometimes it’s helpful to vent your anger (but do it in a constructive way). Start a new email — making sure to leave the “To” box blank and vent away. Say exactly what you think about the opposing counsel, her client, or whoever you’re pissed off at. Give yourself at least a 24-hour cooling period, go back, and delete the email. (NEVER hit Reply and draft a vent email, since you may accidentally send it.)
“I usually write the email I really want to send and minimize it, sometimes for a day. I am usually the best version of myself early in the morning. I re-read my email and edit accordingly. I always find a better way of expressing myself after my first cup of coffee.” -Chip Parker
7. Always be diplomatic and take the high road
Remember, anything you write can and probably will be used against you. Never write something in an email that you would not want published in a court document or on the front page of a newspaper. When in doubt, send a draft of the email to a colleague or someone you can trust and ask him or her to review it.
8. Don’t over-communicate via email
It’s easy to avoid picking up the phone or better yet, scheduling a face-to-face meeting. This is especially the case when the nature of the communication is unpleasant or conflict driven. When the communication is deteriorating, consider suggesting a more direct form of communication. Say something like, “I’m noticing that our communication seems to be getting more hostile. I value having a good working relationship with you. Could we find a time to talk (or meet) this Friday?”
9. Be polite
Yes, you may want to choke the person on the other end of the email, but always be polite (See #7 above). You always want to write each email as though it will be read by a judge someday. Start with a proper salutation (“Dear [name]”), use paragraph breaks, and end with a friendly closing such as “Regards,” or “All the best.”
Also, to the extent possible, develop a friendly rapport with the person. Find some common interests, something else to chat about aside from the case. It might be that your kids play on the same little league team or you both have a love for the same sports team. Adding a friendly comment such as, “Did you see the Giants play on Sunday?” can make the conversation less tense.
10. Check the tone and intent
Most of us are inundated with hundreds — if not, thousands — of emails per day. There are days where I feel as though I’m standing in front of a flood gate, trying to keep the avalanche of emails from crushing my soul. It’s easy to fire off short emails which may come across as rude or hostile when you had no intention to be rude or hostile.
For example, take the following two examples:
Example 1:
John, you must have that memo at my desk by 5:00 PM today.
Example 2:
Hi John, I really appreciate all of your work on this memo. Could you please get it to me by 5:00 PM today? Thanks so much!
See the difference? Since there are no non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expression, and tone of voice, we lose a lot in written communication. So take the time to avoid misunderstanding by checking your tone.
The other side of the token is that you should be careful about how you interpret an email. You may not be reading it in the way the sender intended it to be read.
This article previously appeared on Above the Law.